The Monster
by NobodyKnowsMyPain
Summary: Remus Lupin struggles with the monster inside his head and usually he ignore it but something the monster says changes his mind and in the end they become friends..Got the idea of this story from the song The Monster by Eminem ft. Rihanna.


**I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters..the plot of this story though..well I mostly own it!**

I stand in front of the mirror completely starker's. I stare at myself, making a face at what I see. A tall boy with light brown hair and dark brown eyes. Most people who looked like that were considered attractive but I was not most people. I look at myself closer. I was too scrawny and I had all these bloody scars! I would never be attractive because of those scars! No girl would ever want a monster like me.

I freeze when I think that. Monster? Did I just call myself a monster? _Yes you did because that is what you are_, the 'monster' that I like to call the beast I turn once a month tells me.

"Shut up! I am not a monster…am I?" I say out loud.

I look at myself in the mirror again and think of how once a month I do actually turn into a monster. That it is because of that monster I have these scars. Maybe I am a monster? I did yell at Peter earlier for getting in my way and I almost cursed him. But does that make me a monster?

_Yesss that same irritating part of my brain tells me again. You are a monster..you are a monster all the time._ I try to ignore the monster but it just keeps whispering to me that I am a monster. I sigh and close my eyes and suddenly one of the worst days of my life is flashing through my mind. It was of when Sirius had tricked Severus into coming into the Shrieking Shack. I had just changed. Usually I don't remember much when I change but for some reason I can remember that night perfectly. I can remember trying to attack Severus but before I actually could James had showed up and stopped me. Severus still has not forgiven me even though it has now been two years.

_See that makes you a monster!_ Oh shut up it does not I tell the monster. I roll my eyes when I realize I am arguing with myself basically because well..the monster was right. I was the monster..so that made me the monster I was argueing with. Great now I am both a monster and crazy!

_You are just realizing that now? Really Remus we have been together years now! You should have realized that sooner! _I look in the mirror once again and ignore the monster. I shake my head and turn away. No I was wrong and so was the monster. I am not a monster. The monster and I am not one. We are two separate beings who just happen to share my body. I grab my clothes and quickly put them on. Time to get the rest of the boys up for breakfast.

_Ohh will Padfoot be awake? _Suddenly a picture of a big Grimm pops into my head andI growl. I walk towards the door and open it quickly as I push that picture away. Bloody monster! I was not going to talk to the monster. Usually I liked to ignore him but right now it was being hard to do so. _Ignoring me is like saying you don't want me and not wanting me..well it will kill both of us! _

_"_What?" I hiss out. I freeze when I hear James snores falter and I breathe a sigh of relief when they start up again. I quickly turn back towards the bathroom and walk in again. I close the door behind my quietly. You never mentioned it would kill us! Also don't forget for years you tried to control me!

_If you had let me control you things would be so much better for us right now..and well I had not thought it would be important for us if you you don't want me but now I know it is wrong. It is important for you to acknowledge me. If you do not..like I said it will kill us._

"Why? How? How can it kill us?" I ask as I rub my head. I lean back against the door and slide to the floor.

_Merlin are you that stupid Remus? I thought..never mind I guess I was wrong. By ignoring me, you are basically stating that I will never have a mate. Without a mate I will die. So therefore you will die as well!_

"Mate? I thought only animals did that!" I make a face. The monster chuckles a little. _Yess a mate. You might not find it to be a good idea now but believe me once you accept me, you will find my mate..and that mate of mine will be yours. You will love them will all your being. Just accept me and you will see._

"I don't like this whole mate thing but if it means I don't need to die I guess I can try to accept you," I say to the monster. I hear the monster let out a small sound of delight. I smile a little. Okay so when the monster was happy, I was happy.

"How do we start the process of me accepting you?" I ask as I stand up and look down at the watch I am wearing. Oh damn it was almost the end of breakfast! I really should wake the others up.

_Go ahead Remus. I shall be napping for now. Tonight we will talk. Get to know each other more so you can start strengthening your acceptances of me…see by just agreeing that you will begin to accept me has begun the process. Can't you feel how much better you feel now?_

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Oh yes I could. I didn't hurt so much and I wasn't as tired as I had been a few seconds before. I smile again and turn towards the door. I open it and step up. I start thinking of a way of telling Sirius of my…new friend.

"Well Sirius you aren't ever going to guess what..I am friends with the monster! The one in my head!" I chuckle as I say that. Oh yes he would probably think I had gone completely bonkers if I tell him it like that!


End file.
